The rest of my life

     It' been 4 months since I met my little girl.  I can still feel her in my arms.  I can still see what her eyes looked like as she looked at me.  I can still smell her fresh, newborn skin.  I can still praise God for blessing my life with her and thankful that He was faithful.


     It's been 4 months since I lost my little girl.  I can still feel my arms longing to hold her again.  I can still see her eyes looking at me, but now know that her eyes are looking at the face of Jesus.  I can still smell her fresh, newborn skin at different times throughout the day and wish it was her.  I can still praise God for blessing my life with her and thankful that He is faithful.


     The one thing I have learned through this whole experience and the months following is that God is always present.  I never thought 4 months ago on November 15 at 5:45pm that I would ever be ok. That I would ever laugh again.  That I would ever be able to live my life again.  God is faithful.  He has brought me through this.


     My little girl has taught me more than anyone in my life.  She taught me how to pray.  She taught me how to pray not for miracles, but that His will be done.  I have finally found peace with the fact that this has happened and people are finding Christ because of it.  Faith, a small 5 lb 6 oz baby girl, has changed the lives of not only her Daddy, but the lives of people she has never met.  I will continue to pray that her life and that her legacy will continue to shape and change the lives of people.  God and Faith, a great team, working together to further the kingdom.


     The rest of my life will never be the same.  The 15th of every month will be hard.  Every time the leaves start falling off the trees and the smell of turkey fills the kitchen, I will be reminded of her.  And while it may be hard, I will cry tears of joy knowing that my girl, my tiny little daughter, has changed the course of my life.  I have found out what it means to have full faith in God the Father and to never doubt His plans.  He always knows what is best for us.  He will never leave my side.  And He will always be holding my little girl.


Jesus, thank you.  Thank you for blessing my life with a little life.  A little life that will forever be apart of me.  I pray today that you kiss her for me, hold her tight.  Tell her how much her Daddy loves her and that I will never forget her.  I'll never forget how she felt in my arms.  I'll never forget the way her eyes shined through the darkness.  She is my little light, and she always will be.  Thank you Father for blessing my life in ways I have seen and ways I have not.  You are faithful and always will be.  Thank you Father.  Amen