How did we get here?
Never fight the Holy Spirit...you'll never win. I never pegged myself to be a blogger, and as hard as it is to believe, I am rarely on Facebook or any social media so for me to blog is far from normal. But when the Spirt leads you to do something, and continues to push you towards it after weeks of saying no, you best listen.
Faith. It's an interesting thing. Most christians like myself know about faith, say that we have faith, and even tell others about our faith and what it has done in our lives. But then you hear "your baby has genetic abnormalities", you quickly learn what faith really is. Faith is seeing light with your heart when all your eyes see is darkness. My wife and I are at that place right now. At our normal 12 week appointment to get the first ultrasound of our beautiful baby, we were told she was measuring at 10 weeks. Not a big deal, we just had a little peanut. Fast forward to our 20 week appointment to find out the gender of our baby, still measuring small. Now there is a cause for concern. The doctor says that she thinks there are some things wrong with our baby girl.
Yes, a beautiful baby girl. We go see a specialist and it is confirmed that she has genetic abnormalities. Devastating. The last thing you want to hear as a new parent pregnant with your first child. My wife and I didn't know what to do.
I don't want to spend to much time telling the story of everything that happened and has happened because that is not the story to be told. The story lies within the people, the friends, the family, and the Savior we have around us battling with us, and getting through this together as a family. Not only the family we have through blood and family trees, but the family of believers we have around us and the loving embrace of Jesus Christ.
We are now at 30 weeks. Through tests and doctors, it is confirmed that out baby has Trisomy 13. A disorder that through science and history tells us our baby will not survive outside of the womb. This is where we are now but like I said earlier, this is not the story.
Panera Bread parking lot, after our 20 week appointment. We are meeting my sister-in-law to give her the envelope with the gender inside because she is planning our gender reveal party (apparently those are things. Thanks Pinterest). We ask to meet in the parking lot before going in for lunch and we tell her the news. Tears are rolling down our faces and no one knows what to say. However one person does. There is a car parked next to us a few spots over. I notice there is someone in the car with the window open and don't think anything of it. A few moments later, the lady gets our of her car and walks over to us. She then proceeds to say "I'm sorry but I overheard you talking but I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. I can't imagine how hard this is but know that I will continue to pray for you." Insert the Holy Spirit. None of us have ever seen this women before, but those words while at the time were nice, looking back, those words are just another part of this story and the first sign showing us that God is with us through all of this.
There are many more of these stories. Stories that show God at work in this world when all hope seems lost. Strangers being led by the Spirit to speak up, say a friendly word, and bring order to chaos. This is not an easy time. This is not how I pictured my life going and we are having to make decisions no one should ever have to make. However, this is God's plan. And knowing that He loves my baby girl even more than I do, makes it a little better. God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, or sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.